Mexico Pics

It's Been Forever, I Know

So I'm not sure anyone will read this since it's been almost 2 years since I've written anything. Every time I would want to write something, it would usually be negative and something I needed to complain about. So instead I just verbally complained to friends and my poor husband because I didn't want all that negativity out there on the internet. And I have so many friends with great blogs who have cute things to post and happy things to share all the time. I just feel like I don't. I'm sure that's not true, but let's just say I've been going through a dry spell.

This post will not be altogether positive either, but I need prayer, and what better way to share that than here! I don't want to put it on social networks. As an aside while we're talking about social networking, does it bother anyone else that people share huge announcements on social networks only? I mean I can understand if you're having a baby and want to share that, but I would really hope you'd tell those closest to you first and then tell everyone else you don't really keep up with on your social network. I have found out that a few of my extremely close friends were pregnant on FB lately instead of getting a phone call, and that really bothers me. I thought we were close enough to call each other about stuff like this and then I have to find out with the same person they probably haven't talked to in 15 years. It just seems wrong. I hate that our society is going that way, it's just impersonal. But I have to come to terms that the older I get, the fewer close friends I'm going to have. But that's for another blog post.

So I need your prayer. I switched jobs in October from one I had for over 7 years because I just couldn't stay there anymore for many reasons, none of which I will go into because this is the internet after all. Now I am a contractor at another job and am having a very hard time with it. I really don't like it, and most of the job responsibilites are not my strong points. So it's kind of doing a number on my self esteem, for more than one reason. Tie that into the fact that I have dealt with depression and anxiety in parts of my life, and I feel one of those battles heading my way. It's been a while since I've had to deal with that, so I'm not too thrilled. I was hoping we were done with it! So all that to say I need your prayer that God will open my heart to hearing what He has to say about what I should do. I have been looking for other jobs, but nothing yet. And knowing that my dear father has been out of work for about as long as I've had this new job, I can't help but feel ungrateful for what I have. I just keep thinking of him and that he would probably kill to have a job at all, and here I am wanting to leave mine. I am at a loss and need some guidance! I appreciate your prayers.

On a lighter note, Eric and I are going to Mexico in a few weeks to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary! I can't believe it's been 5 years already and it has been wonderful! Looking forward to many, many more! I will hopefully get some pictures on here from our trip. Hope anyone reading this is doing well!

Turning 30

I just wanted to share on here how much my wonderful husband and friends (and co-workers, too) did to make my birthday special last week. I wasn't really sure how I felt about turning 30, but I knew it was a milestone, and I wanted to celebrate it! Eric kept trying to come up with certain things to do, but a lot of them were out of the question because they had been flooded a few weeks before. So we decided to go to the zoo after work and then to dinner. Before all of that, I came into work to a beautifully decorated cubicle (see pics) with flowers and butterflies......made for a much happier day at work and I haven't taken it down yet! We had cake and I got an Amazon gift certificate, which if you know me, I'm always buying stuff from them. Then some of my co-workers who also happen to be good friends brought in stuff to make hot dogs for lunch, too! Little did I know this was to throw me off track for the surprise party I had later. Some of these particular people were in cahoots with Eric on my party and they wanted me to think this was all they were doing, which was a lot as it was. So after work we go to the zoo and walk around in the significant humidity and 80-something degree weather. Talk about sweat! So you can imagine what I looked like later on..........then as we were getting gas before going to dinner, Eric tells me he left his Visa card at home on the desk because he had bought something online and didn't put it back in his wallet, so we were going to have to go home to get it. I said that's ridiculous, let's just go and I'll pay for it. He said you cannot pay for your own birthday dinner! That's just not right! HAHA So we went home and there wasn't anything out of the ordinary (people had parked at my friend's house a street away) to give anything away. I said I was just staying in the car while he went upstairs, but Eric said why don't you come in and open your gift while we're here? I wasn't having any of it, I just wanted to eat, LOL, but he made me go inside. I open the door and realized the alarm wasn't set. We've had a few break-ins happen in our neighborhood lately, so I laid into him about that, why wasn't the alarm set? Of course all of my friends heard that from upstairs, HA! I went up to the kitchen and there were about 20 people just standing there looking at me (they were so focused on being quiet, they didn't get a universal "surprise" to come out of their mouths), and I totally started crying. I HATE crying in front of people, but something about it just overwhelmed me. Here I had thought all that was going to happen for this significant birthday was a trip to the zoo with my husband and the stuff that was done for me at work (which was nice of course, but it was at work), and all along Eric had been planning this party for me. And Eric CANNOT keep secrets. Seriously, he told me when he started paying on my engagement ring because he couldn't keep it to himself. So this was such a surprise for me! And all the people I never can seem to get in the same room very often who are so important to me were all there! (those in Nashville anyway, no offense to anyone not living here) They even got me a donkey pinata (I love donkeys, BTW) to smash open and we had pizza and ice cream cake. Oh and my friend Amanda made t-shirts for all the girls that said I "heart" Amanda on them, so funny! I had a fan club! I'll definitely remember my 30th birthday fondly and it's not like I really feel any older. I guess some people have a hard time with 30, but I didn't. Eric had a hard time with 31 for some reason, so hopefully I won't. We did take some pictures, but they're not on my work computer, so I can post some later, but for now enjoy the pics of my cube. Until next time!

Welcome 2010!

Wow, I can't believe it's 2010! Craziness! It seems like the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas was SO SHORT this year, then New Year's Day and here we are! We had such a wonderful holiday with family. Eric's aunt and uncle came into town to see their son, so we celebrated Christmas with them and Eric's parents and brother, and then again with my parents, brother and sister (and Tyson). My family stayed with us and we shopped and watched lots of football and ate a lot of food, opened a lot of presents. Sarah made a fabulous Christmas dinner for us while Eric and I were at his parents' house. I'm such a great hostess, aren't I? HA! Seriously, though, I am LOVING that she is only 3 hours away and we're seeing her more often now. It has also been absolutely freezing here lately, as it is most everywhere. On my drive to work this morning, the thermometer in the car said 14 degrees. Brrrr!!!! It's snowing a little and I hope it snows a lot more! It hardly seems worth it to be so cold without snow.
Well hopefully I'll have more to update on next time along with pictures. It's been a crazy month and my picture-taking has been a little lacking. Unfortunate, since my whole family was just here! I think it has to do with the fact that I desperately need to lose some weight, which I have to start working on now that it's a new year. Pray for me that I will seriously work on it. It is very much on my mind these days. Until next time!

Apologies

So my husband informed me this morning that if you click on my name on Facebook and read all of my status updates, I really sound like a negative person. He even said our friend, Tracy, told him yesterday that I seemed to be having a really hard time of it lately. I told him yes! I have been having a hard time lately and I don't want to put some fake happy posts on there! But I do sincerely apologize, perhaps I've been a bit too honest. First there was the mouse fiasco, which stressed me out for about a month before we caught it, then Tyson was here for only a week (note to Eric: you're going to have to take credit for a little bit of the Tyson stress), during which I had to clean up vomit and diarrhea twice a day for the duration thanks to a hambone my brother lovingly gave his dear doggie (he did mean well). Put work (which you can always assume is not going the way I'd like it to) on top of all of that, and yeah, I haven't had too many upbeat status updates lately. But things are turning around! Eric's home for a while, it's almost the holidays (my favorite time of year!), and there have been no creature sightings (rodent or canine) in over a week now. Yay!!! So here's to a hopeful future of more positive updates and maybe even blog entries.=) You can keep me accountable and give me a hard time if I start getting too negative again, ok? Thanks to everyone.....Happy November!

Yes, I Am A Woman

I definitely have some catching up to do on this blog, I know. I promised pictures of Europe, but there are some on my facebook page. Just look at them there, HA! I'll at least post a random picture from time to time of our trip........we had such a great time!
But to get to the heart of this post, I must share something rather embarassing with you. I've always had determined intentions to be a strong woman, not some girly girl who gets squeamish or emotional when things surprise me or upset me. I used to be quite anxious, before I gave in and starting taking a SSRI, and I would cry at the drop of a hat. Just ask poor Eric. It's amazing he even married me, since we started dating pre-SSRI. Ever since then (and this is after many moments of crying hysterically for very minor, insignificant reasons), I've been pretty good about not losing it over the small stuff, so I'd convinced myself (not sure about anyone else) that I am indeed a strong woman who can deal with whatever comes her way. I don't need to cry or react irrationally, I am independent and can handle myself.
Then this morning happened.
On Friday as I was eating some cheese puffs (I could dedicate an entire blog to my bad eating habits), I realized the bag had holes all in it. I thought that was odd and it didn't hit me for a full 5 minutes what that probably meant. Once I realized I may have a mouse in my house, I went down to the pantry and my eyes were suddenly opened to what had probably been in front of my face for days or maybe even weeks. I noticed other items of food that had bite marks and holes. I noticed little pieces of mouse droppings that I thought had just been crumbs or something all over my pantry. I had a dawning realization that the stomach pain I'd had for 2 days a week and a half ago that kept me home from work could probably be attributed to me eating food that a mouse had been into. I realize you're probably gagging while you're reading this, and trust me, that is an understatement to what I was actually doing. I freaked. Eric had just left that morning for a week, so I was home alone and had no idea what to do. I threw out the food that I knew the mouse had been into (and at this point, let's just say there's only one mouse) and went to Target to get some traps. I kept thinking about what I'd been eating and just kept grossing myself out.
The only way I got through the weekend was to not really think about things and I threw away any food I came across that looked like it needed to be thrown out. I didn't want to clean the entire pantry out until the mouse was caught, because I didn't want to have to do it again. As of last night, I had not caught a mouse yet, so I naively thought that since I had thrown out any open food and had closed things up pretty well in the pantry, maybe the mouse had left because it couldn't get into any more food. Yeah Amanda, because the mouse has only been getting fat off of your food for who knows how long now, maybe he just gave up once you closed a couple of boxes. Right.
This morning I checked the trap by the fireplace........nothing. I opened the pantry and looked at that trap......nothing. I noticed a bag of pecans that were out of place, so I picked it up and saw the hole in the corner, cursed under my breath, and threw them in the trash. I came back to the pantry and kind of stuck my head in looking around for more evidence and I came face to face with a very fat mouse. A very scared, very fat mouse. And now we come back to the theme of this post. Did I laugh in the face of my nemesis? Was I a strong woman who cursed at the stupid mouse and tried to catch it? Uh, no. I screamed bloody murder at the top of my lungs.............even with the windows shut, I was surprised I didn't get neighbors coming over to check on me. I probably screamed 5 times, and of course, the mouse went running. I have no idea where, but it got out of there as fast as its fat little legs could run. I started crying like you wouldn't believe (I think it was the shock of it and PMS doesn't help!) and called Eric, because he could do so much from 600 miles away. He was laughing at me because I was crying and had that high pitched squeal to my voice where he couldn't understand a word I was saying. Of course, now he feels bad about it, but I'm sure I sounded ridiculous.
So much for being a strong, independent woman. I need help. I need my husband! I DO NOT DO WELL WITH RODENTS.
So if you have any advice for me, bring it on! In the meantime, I'm going to go and try to find my dignity.

Facebook and Other Thoughts

For the two people who read this blog, I just felt like writing today, HA! Seriously, though, we are now blocked from Facebook at work, in case you ever wonder why that's not updated more often. I'm on the computer more at work than I am at home, so that's when I used to visit all of my usual websites. Work has been a challenge lately, to put it mildly. I don't normally say anything about work on here, as anyone who googled me could find this, so I won't say much. All I will say is I could use prayers on getting through work right now. I am thankful to have a job, and I love what I do, but the situation, especially lately, is not at all ideal. Of course, work by definition (in the dictionary of Amanda), is never fun, so I should probably just deal with it, right?=) Maybe I'm just very VERY ready for our trip to Europe, which is less than two weeks away! Woo hoo!

Just got back from taking a break with a friend.......got to vent a lot, so I won't do it on here as much as I had intended. It's been tough finding time to spend with friends lately, just because most of them are in a different place in their lives, it can be hard to relate to each other, and just hard to find time to even talk. It makes me laugh just thinking about when I was in high school and thought that my life was so complicated and that it couldn't possibly get any worse. How naive I was! How naive we all are at that age! Of course, it is hard at the time, high school is a different kind of hard, but at least you and everyone you know are in the same stage and you can get through everything together. Now with everyone being all over the place (different locations, different life stages, different beliefs, different priorities), it's hard to recapture the closeness of those high school friendships. Yes, you still have difficult things to get through, but you have less people to get through them with. Wow, please disregard the grammatical errors of this post, I'm just writing like I would talk out loud, HA! Anyway, not to be a downer today, just being contemplative. There have been a lot of things to celebrate in my friends' lives lately, new babies, new houses, stuff like that, so that has been really exciting! Good things and bad things, just a part of life, right?=) I know God knows what He's doing, so I just need to learn to lean on him more than I have lately. He's the only one who will keep me sane and keep me grounded. Well until next time! It will probably be after Europe, and I'll probably have way too many pictures to post on here, but I'll share a few!